I don’t even want to kill myself
I just want to be hit by a train…
Attacked by a bear…
Bad car accident…
even diagnosed with cancer..
I just want to die and people won’t know that I wanted my life to end so I don’t look like a depressed suicidal freak.
It’s not that I want to die… I just want to disappear. I don’t want to let down those I love- my family, my few friends- I’m just sick of feeling this way. I know it’s selfish, but I wish I could just go away. With a click of a button, be gone. I want to be erased from everyone’s memory… As if I never existed. I don’t want to look down at my parents blaming themselves for my death, I don’t want anyone to feel guilty, I just want to disappear.
I just want to watch tv while cuddling up in their arms in bed… maybe we can play games or just talk about life and vent and cry and smile and laugh and I just want someone to care about me, genuinely, 100%.
Forever waiting on nothing. xoxo.
but i’m better than that.
i hope.
